the frigid air that cracked my hands.
they bled amidst the sorry integrals
and the latin words I held so closely.
i missed the sun slip down playfully
beyond the brick, the white columns so firm.
it was already dark, and I understood no change.
i was silent in the whirring blizzard
and the white noise lulled me to forget.
the flurries beckoned me to the sanctuary
barely lit.
I missed the wonder, the fear, the pain
I swallowed obediently, and slept.
water, swallow. sleep. forget.
i forgot to cry until it was too late.
my protest was futile and I lost it all.
I missed nine months of red sunsets.
I missed a year of days.
I lived a long time of time not going
and then, it went. then is now, and now
I’m scared. I am terrified and I do not sleep.
I missed the sunset,
but I didn’t miss the sunrise.
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