the ground is still frozen, and my step is light so long as the forecast says there's a chance of snow. the cold somehow punctuates the forever-and-a-half days. thank you, jesus, i have only twenty four hours, each one. waking up to forgotten coffee, forgotten keys. stumbling through lectures and getting myself to lab. i roll up my sleeve and can't find the pulse. not the branchial, the radial, or the ulnar. it's gone, so i give up and release the pressure, diving underwater, finger up. i forget as the ice numbs. it numbs so healthily, and i want to scream and shout at the ones who wait for spring. my precious winter--i wish it were here to stay.

when library turns sanctuary, and god is in books, and books are full of numbers and figures (and too few words), where is my creator? where do i fit in amidst the constants and equations, the formulas i don't care to use because they are nothingness attributed all the meaning of the world? I want so badly to feel so much, and these symbols mean nothing to a girl of words.

tap-tap. (fake). i didn't hear a pulse.
just pretend. graph it out. t-test. set. go!
p is less than .05, so i must be sifnificant.

diversity is important. S.H.O.U.T. it out.
come to my events and see how i plan.
see how i try so hard in search of meaning
(close your eyes when i fail miserably).

the rat in latin class gives teacher the creeps.
take it out NOW. it might gnaw off those mots.
la nouvelle vocabulaire. ce n'est pas tres importante.
NON. je m'en fiche. c'est fini. the rat is long dead.
mon souris. ne le souviens pas!